The Ambassadors by Henry James

Trying to read The Ambassadors by Henry James on a full charter bus. I grabbed it because it was small enough to fit in my purse. However my decision to start a new book on a loud bus with children and parents talking all around me was probably mistake. How did I forget I need complete silence or white noise to read? I can’t even listen to music because it’s so loud. And now they’ve just turned on a movie so I guess I’ll give up (the speaker is above my head) and stare into the abyss. I feel like the story in the book is going on without me since I’m not comprehending it but rather eavesdropping on the conversations around me against my desire to do so. Oh well. Everyone has got an interesting story to tell.

What about you? Can you read in chaos? Or do you need silence like me?

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The book of Deuteronomy

I have no authority to teach you about the books in the Bible. You might disagree with me and that’s OK. 👇👇👇

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“Observe therefore all the commands I am giving you today, so that you may have the strength to go in and take over the land that you are crossing the Jordon to posses.” -Deuteronomy 11:8

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In Deuteronomy we hear from Moses himself about the journey into the promise land. But if we take this from a symbolic viewpoint, we see that he is telling that the journey is hard even for the ‘chosen’. Hardships and sacrifices will surely come when we decide to truly follow a holy path—not perfect, but living in the Holy Spirit, recognizing God’s presence in our own being. People will try to make ‘war’ against you when you live this way, because naturally you will become a more gentle and tender person. They might not think you’re fun anymore. They may try to make you feel like you’re lame or boring because you won’t join in with the gossip or masochistic recreation (whatever that may be; little acts of hate can damage the soul). We might have to kill many relationships that are damaging in order to truly follow a new clean path and live in the Spirit—“the land that we are trying to possess”. We may have to cut ties with relationships that may be unheathly and fight against what we’re trying to obtain in a clean mind, body, and spirit. We may have to cut ties with those who fight against a new ‘us’ even if it means cutting ties with parts of ourselves.

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Lamiel by Stendhal

Lamiel, which means devil’s daughter, was the unfinished last novel of Stendhal or Henri Beyle. Because it was unfinished I think Stendhal, if he would have lived, would have made it very different had he the time to edit it. Because it was so sparse regarding detail it is called his best work. I don’t know about that. Lamiel, the protagonist, is on a ‘journey’ to find out what love is. However she is what I would call someone without feeling(a sociopath?)she wants instead violence, she’s frustrated by men if they’re too gaga for her, she plays games with them for her own gain. She’s a hateful character. I really didn’t enjoy the book, plus it’s unfinished, the last half is quickly summarized in one chapter. Critics at the time it was published said it is very true to life, which it isn’t at all. But Stendhal was known for putting a microscope on the psychology of human characters, so as far as that is concerned the work is superb. .

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It’s a cute little copy: 1953. It is rare and in good condition. .

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The Book of Numbers

*I have no authority to teach you lessons from the Bible, I only hope you will find something useful. You might disagree with my interpretation and that’s OK!

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“When you cross the Jordan in to Canaan, drive out all the inhabitants of the land before you. Destroy all their carved images and their cast idols, and demolish all their high places.” –Numbers 33:51

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OK verses such as the above are what gives God a bad rap. It sounds violent and scary and seems to advertise war. But I will tell you that you must not look at the surface for the meaning in scripture, people that do often miss the truth and can interpret wrongly. Go deeper and this verse takes on a different shape entirely: Before your spirit can settle in peace with God and with yourself, drive out all things that are holding you back from a true and pure existence—all that you consider an ‘idol’ should be destroyed. For me, for a long time, my ‘idol’ getting traditionally published. I prayed and prayed for this to happen. But it wasn’t until I read this verse and saw my own folly in holding that goal on a pedestal of importance over many other things, and asking myself exactly WHY I wanted my books out there (was it for selfish reasons, or was my goal to help people?), that I was able to give up the idea and decide instead to be happy no matter what happened to all my books, poems, essays and dedicate my writing to the purpose of GOOD. Once I did this I found a publisher. Call that whatever you like, but I know where this gift came from. Have faith and hope that God will show you the way, but we must be patient and trust Him with all our hearts. That’s what I think anyway.

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For the Bride: Today is our Wedding Anniversary

For The Bride: A scrapbook for brides from 1920’s. My mother gave me this as a sort of joke on my anniversary one year along with a book called, The Silent Hostess, also another inside joke. .

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My husband and I were married 14 years ago today. I was 22 years old. It was 70 degrees in Michigan, and the leaves were still brilliantly colored on all the trees. We were indeed blessed. It was before everyone got really creative with wedding pics. Ours are very standard and professionally posed. Nothing fancy like people all jumping at the same time or pictures of shoes and rings, etc. Some details I remember: Our photographer had been hit by a car that day and had managed to limp his way to our wedding despite this. There were ladybugs flying all over the place, got themselves caught in my veil, on my gown, in the hair of bridesmaids and groomsmen. My uncle Jack flew in from California to surprise me on this day, and my dad asked if I was nervous before he walked me down the aisle. I denied being nervous but hummed Tchaikovsky’s 1812 overture because I WAS nervous (and because I’m a weirdo). I couldn’t find Bryan for most of the event, and everyone kept asking if I was pregnant. 😂 .

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Here’s to all the brides out there!

Cheers 🥂 .

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Inside the Detroit Public Library

Spent yesterday going through the archives in the Detroit Public Library’s Burton Historical Collection. What a beautiful library! It’s what I would like my personal library to look like, and what it’ll have to look like if I keep buying books! 😂 The interior is so vintage—late 1950’s, early 1960’s I’m guessing. 🥰

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